Stone me, or rather half a stone me. It transpires that our bathroom scales couldn’t be more wrong. A combination of old age (theirs) and youth – the kids jumping on them – means they turn out to be massively misleading!
Looks like I’ve been convincing myself that my slightly wobbly belly was one step short of emaciation, when the truth is it’s half a stone of unnecessary blubber!
Like ‘faster than light’ neutrinos at the Large Hadron Collider, the measurements were wrong. My theory of thinness has been falsified by new experiments – the missus has bought some shiny new bathroom scales.
I’ve been following my own personal satnav into a bowl of empty calories. It’s amazing how we blindly follow instruments in modern life.
So the hard work of shedding the pounds begins. But like a good scientist, I’m mainly glad to have corrected my error. New data, new knowledge, new understandings. Bang go the ice creams this summer…