Life is all about reasonable accommodation. One shouldn’t be taken for granted or for a ride. But if you can accommodate someone you should. And I’m trying to let go of ‘keeping score’ – especially in relationships and family life.
We are hard wired for equality. Perhaps the only species that is. Take chimps. Apparently, give them a resource and they’ll seek to monopolise or fight over it. Take 3-year-old children – who have similar mental resources to chimps – and they’ll naturally seek to share and equalise.
But we are also hard wired to cheat and compete; to seek advantage, freeload and be clever enough to get away with it. But good deeds beget more good deeds – and bad bad. So my mental motto is if you can ‘reasonably accommodate’, you should – even as I’m quietly harrumphing about a given task.
This morning my son wanted to balance in the car door sill before jumping out. I needed him out so I could get off to work. I could’ve shouted or I could’ve accommodated. He was happy and go lucky – why shout, it cost me but a moment.
Either me or the missus needed to go to the chemist to get some cream for him. I could’ve ignored it or accommodated – I went and got it. There are times when you can’t. But when you can, you should.