I texted the person I’m slowly turning into late last night:
“Phew wee – a really stretching week… grievances, gross misconduct, controversial and risky things to land before Xmas and much change being imposed.”
“I suspect like you at a similar stage – I am strangely both deeply affected and also somewhat distant in my reaction to all this – it matters and it affects me; but much of it is not my doing and not in my gift to change.”
“A dawning of a more realistic sense of personal responsibility and the limits thereof?”
I also have fought off the desire to compete, undermine and fight back in the face of many provocations these last weeks. And this is a lesson well learned…
As I also admitted to my pal:
“One of the bigger lessons of recent years was that firing two Exocets into an adversary’s hull damaged me below the waterline more surely than it did them.”
It has been hard; but I’ve largely managed to let go of a week of days packed without pause with relentless interpersonal aggro.
As I sit here listening to happy tunes in the school carpark (having chosen to save my eldest from a cold walk home from dancing) I have refound my equilibrium, equanimity – and the all important inner peace.
It gets the blood up; but Exocets just aren’t worth firing.
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