Category: Life

Life

Life, Psychology

FoMO 

  
Plenty of coverage; and several good conversations this week about FoMO – the digitally enabled fear of missing out.

As we all become more and more square-eyed from looking at screens all the time; the inability to separate ourselves from them is becoming a problem for young and old. And also at work…

I’ve found – like a lab rat with sugar solution – that I can’t help looking for and leaping on emails, night as well as day; and at weekends. And if I’m not doing that I’m checking Twitter, LinkedIn, the news or some other source of work-related stimulus.

Is this stimulus or are these stimulants? Today walking in the park with my folks and the kids, we spotted and then admired the stillness of an elegant and ‘professorially’ precise heron, perching and peering from a branch…

For once I don’t have a photo. My phone languished in my pocket as we watched. Not that I didn’t think of it. No phone means no Instagram, no Tweet, no digital record; just an experience, a moment and a memory: which will likely soon be forgotten.

The biggest fear with FoMO is missing out on life. Progressively, since my first iPhone in 2007, they’ve just got better, richer and more interesting as handheld windows on the world. But that’s the trap.

Is it better to watch a heron; or to record and share a heron? If all the focus is on snapping, posting and hashtagging it, have you really seen it at all? And oops there’s a work email; forget herons…

I need to watch my FoMO and (sometimes) stop looking at my screen. I’m putting it down in 5, 4, 3, 2… gone.

Death, Ethics, Life, Psychology

Great love and great compassion

  

I’ve just finished the Dalai Lama’s ‘How to see yourself as you really are.’ And a penny has dropped… 

Some of the Buddhist ideas: notably Karma, the cycle of returns and the idea that we are all constantly living and reliving; these are not for me. 

But I do like the concept of ‘impermanence’. Recognising nothing stays constant; and none of us live forever, is in some ways the sum of all fears. But it also means bad times will pass, and that tricky situations generally resolve. ‘Impermanence’ tells me I sometimes work too hard and worry too much. 

But the key insight for me came about two pages from the end. And it’s this – very simply put in the Dalai Lama’s own words:

It is important not to become inclined towards solitary peace, because by aiming merely at liberation for your own sake, you lengthen the process of attaining altruistic enlightenment directed to others’ good – the ultimate goal.

By mainly taking care of yourself, you foster a self-cherishing attitude, and this attitude is difficult to overcome later, when you train in great love and great compassion. 

Consequently, it is crucial from the very beginning not to fully invest your strength of mind in your own benefit.

Perhaps an easier way to swallow Karma (whilst dropping the reincarnation bit) is this: in every action we take, or person we help or hinder, we create ripples in the world. Mostly small ripples of course, but when added up, we can all do a lot of good – or ill.

Like the proverbial butterfly flapping its wings – a simple word or deed could help another ‘sentient being’ towards happiness; or push them closer to anger, hurt and despair.

I’ve sometimes thought that one person can’t make much of a difference… And so, given who I am, perhaps one day writing a half decent book, would be about the best contribution I could make to mine and future generations.

But shrinking into one’s self is not taking the Dalai Lama’s point – “By mainly taking care of yourself, you foster a self-cherishing attitude.” and “it is crucial from the very beginning not to fully invest your strength of mind in your own benefit.” 

I do believe that everyday kindness, care and compassion can make a difference. And since I have maybe as many as 20,000 days left; that’s a lot of help (or hurt) I could dole out. But ‘impermanence’ says I could have a lot fewer days, so best to get on with it.

‘Great love’ and ‘great compassion’ are worth aspiring to. Solitary peace, however beguiling, is not the point of life.

Aristotle, Life, Work

Ladybirds

  
After a wonderful week of goodbyes, this morning, I feel my ladybird has begun to peep its head out from the proverbial matchbox (see my leaving card above); to see a bigger world and a brighter future.

I’ve been working in or adjacent to government for nearly 15 years. And while Aristotle felt politics to be the highest of human endeavours, a quick scan through these quotes of his pretty much covers the many pitfalls.

  
Yesterday I crossed a new bridge to work – Waterloo instead of Westminster; and spent the afternoon at a ‘freshers fair’ watching excited new students sign up for everything from touch frisbee to Russian Club. My new university life came to life.

And today the sun is shining. It’s all change – but a good one I feel sure.

Life, Psychology, Work

A walk in the park…

  

 
As I head towards my final week in my current job, there’ve been a lot of walks in the park. 

One thing I’ve learned is the trickier things in working life: advancement, retirement, redundancy and people’s problems, rarely get improved face-to-face in a meeting room. And I’ve had a queue of people asking ‘could I have a word’ this week.

Walking and talking puts everyone in a more reflective place. It also manages the time… I’ve had good few two lap conversations; but only ever one three-lapper. He was a real talker!

I shall miss the beauty and majesty; herons, swans and pelicans of London’s St James park. Less, the constant press and throng of tourists and holidaymakers. 

So now I need to find a new inspiring place to walk people round. You can’t beat a walk in the park.