Looping

  
I’ve been repeatedly turning over a few tricky challenges in my head. Talking helps, but I realised this week the answer is to stop talking and get biking…

Since I started my new job I’ve been cycling much less. Complex logistics, earlier starts, different buildings, unpredictable start and end points. It all adds up to getting the bus. But that needs to change.

I realised this week that one of the things I’m missing the most, is the answers to difficult situations floating into my head 20 mins into cycling into work…

  

It always happens on this same corner too – which used to be an awful high rise (as above) then derelict and is now a huge building site. 

Hardly inspiring. But whatever the state of that corner it’s always the place inspiration comes. 

It’s clearly a freewheeling thing. Because it’s a certain time into biking a very familiar route my mind obviously goes into neutral – and goes neural. I can’t count the number of good ideas I’ve had on that corner. 

So if I want to stop looping on the same complex problem, the answer is – get on my bike. I’ll be doing so from Monday. 

Perspectives

  

The thought that ‘people’ are just a manifestation of different causes, drivers and phenomena is an interesting one. 

We all have a strong sense of ‘self’. And an equally strong sense of other ‘selves’ too – not least when those other selves jostle, oppress and thwart us.

So the Buddhist doctrines of ’emptiness’ and that we have no ‘inherent existence’ challenge the common sense experience of selves, ourselves and selfishness.

Somewhat tired, somewhat hot; and somewhere between bored and irritated – I had a moment of enlightenment reflecting on this, at a work event this week.

This speaker who is mildly irritating me, on many levels simply does not exist at all…

If I looked at them at the molecular level, they’d just be a greyish fuzz of particles – in fact when you think about it, at the molecular level it probably makes no real sense to think in colours or shapes at all, it’s all a probabilistic blur.

At a bacterial level, that person was a teeming mass of microbes; which largely outnumber ‘their’ own cells. And many of those were probably running faster, because of the heat of the room and the anxiety of speaking.

As they were speaking, the speaker was constantly having holes punched through them by cosmic rays – some generating cellular malfunctions and mutations which the person’s immune system was hopefully mopping up.

At a planetary level, the roomful of people I was sat amongst would be about as visible and significant as a handful of microbes on a Petri dish is to the human eye.

And at a room level, lots of mounds, fungi and little creatures were probably gently coming to life thanks to the light, heat, food and prey that sixty odd people were all exhaling, expelling, shedding and radiating. 

And that’s before we get onto scales of time – how does an hour of speeches look on the timeline of a mayfly, an oak tree or a solar system?

With all those things going on, it’s hard to stick with the idea that the only thing happening in that room, was a person with an ego imposing their ego on my ego.

Letting go of the ‘person’ and seeing the myriad causes, effects, scales and timescales in which you could see them, helped me escape irritation; and embrace a sense of wonder. 

Different perspectives helped me get a different perspective.

FoMO 

  
Plenty of coverage; and several good conversations this week about FoMO – the digitally enabled fear of missing out.

As we all become more and more square-eyed from looking at screens all the time; the inability to separate ourselves from them is becoming a problem for young and old. And also at work…

I’ve found – like a lab rat with sugar solution – that I can’t help looking for and leaping on emails, night as well as day; and at weekends. And if I’m not doing that I’m checking Twitter, LinkedIn, the news or some other source of work-related stimulus.

Is this stimulus or are these stimulants? Today walking in the park with my folks and the kids, we spotted and then admired the stillness of an elegant and ‘professorially’ precise heron, perching and peering from a branch…

For once I don’t have a photo. My phone languished in my pocket as we watched. Not that I didn’t think of it. No phone means no Instagram, no Tweet, no digital record; just an experience, a moment and a memory: which will likely soon be forgotten.

The biggest fear with FoMO is missing out on life. Progressively, since my first iPhone in 2007, they’ve just got better, richer and more interesting as handheld windows on the world. But that’s the trap.

Is it better to watch a heron; or to record and share a heron? If all the focus is on snapping, posting and hashtagging it, have you really seen it at all? And oops there’s a work email; forget herons…

I need to watch my FoMO and (sometimes) stop looking at my screen. I’m putting it down in 5, 4, 3, 2… gone.

Great love and great compassion

  

I’ve just finished the Dalai Lama’s ‘How to see yourself as you really are.’ And a penny has dropped… 

Some of the Buddhist ideas: notably Karma, the cycle of returns and the idea that we are all constantly living and reliving; these are not for me. 

But I do like the concept of ‘impermanence’. Recognising nothing stays constant; and none of us live forever, is in some ways the sum of all fears. But it also means bad times will pass, and that tricky situations generally resolve. ‘Impermanence’ tells me I sometimes work too hard and worry too much. 

But the key insight for me came about two pages from the end. And it’s this – very simply put in the Dalai Lama’s own words:

It is important not to become inclined towards solitary peace, because by aiming merely at liberation for your own sake, you lengthen the process of attaining altruistic enlightenment directed to others’ good – the ultimate goal.

By mainly taking care of yourself, you foster a self-cherishing attitude, and this attitude is difficult to overcome later, when you train in great love and great compassion. 

Consequently, it is crucial from the very beginning not to fully invest your strength of mind in your own benefit.

Perhaps an easier way to swallow Karma (whilst dropping the reincarnation bit) is this: in every action we take, or person we help or hinder, we create ripples in the world. Mostly small ripples of course, but when added up, we can all do a lot of good – or ill.

Like the proverbial butterfly flapping its wings – a simple word or deed could help another ‘sentient being’ towards happiness; or push them closer to anger, hurt and despair.

I’ve sometimes thought that one person can’t make much of a difference… And so, given who I am, perhaps one day writing a half decent book, would be about the best contribution I could make to mine and future generations.

But shrinking into one’s self is not taking the Dalai Lama’s point – “By mainly taking care of yourself, you foster a self-cherishing attitude.” and “it is crucial from the very beginning not to fully invest your strength of mind in your own benefit.” 

I do believe that everyday kindness, care and compassion can make a difference. And since I have maybe as many as 20,000 days left; that’s a lot of help (or hurt) I could dole out. But ‘impermanence’ says I could have a lot fewer days, so best to get on with it.

‘Great love’ and ‘great compassion’ are worth aspiring to. Solitary peace, however beguiling, is not the point of life.

A walk in the park…

  

 
As I head towards my final week in my current job, there’ve been a lot of walks in the park. 

One thing I’ve learned is the trickier things in working life: advancement, retirement, redundancy and people’s problems, rarely get improved face-to-face in a meeting room. And I’ve had a queue of people asking ‘could I have a word’ this week.

Walking and talking puts everyone in a more reflective place. It also manages the time… I’ve had good few two lap conversations; but only ever one three-lapper. He was a real talker!

I shall miss the beauty and majesty; herons, swans and pelicans of London’s St James park. Less, the constant press and throng of tourists and holidaymakers. 

So now I need to find a new inspiring place to walk people round. You can’t beat a walk in the park.