Lights, Camera, Action

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Could it be I’ve crested the hill on Art history? Having scaled the giddy heights of architecture with Gaudí, faced with a shelf of books on Dali, Paul Klee, Gustav Klimt and ‘modernism’, I felt a bit flat at the library today.

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A detailed exploration of Hieronymus Bosch’s variety of earthly delights and hellish torments didn’t light my fire either.

Wandering unrequited from the Art section, in slight desperation, I picked ‘A Brief History of Tea’ (can you have too much tea?). But then I alighted upon ‘Cinema, the Whole Story‘ – hundreds of films, thematically and chronologically ordered, with their plot, best bits and critical reception all summarised.

Hooray! it’s exactly where I started with Art history. Cinematic discovery, development of a dash of discernment and future delights here we come. Lights, camera. action!

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Cathedral or Cave

I imagine Aristotle, like the Acropolis, as more Cathedral. The reclusive poet Emily Dickinson would be more cave. Montaigne, perhaps old Paris; earthy rumbustious streets and deep reflective catacombs.

I’ve been toying with Nietzsche’s idea that our ‘will to power’ is either expressed in the real world or forcibly turned in. For him, we create a complex inner life in proportion to the scale of our drive we cannot express externally.

It’s an interesting thought. Complex interesting people tend to have a good deal of both – rich inner lives and fulfilling outer ones. But not always. Nietzsche credits civilisation with curbing the capacity to express our animal instincts externally – driving them inwards. This unexpressed energy drives our inner lives – our conscience, guilt and creativity.

I think regularly about the balance of inner and external. I don’t feel I have the ‘will to power’ for a full ‘Cathedral’ in the external world. Too much competition, conflict, one-upmanship and strife in seeking grandeur. I fear I’d lose my health, precious time with my family and my happiness if I allowed a ‘grand projet’ or personal aggrandisement to consume me.

Talking to a friend – who is a decade older than me – this week, I felt a bit guilty. He has real fire in his belly for systemic reform, transformational change and the great debates of public policy. I said I’m just not attracted to any of that right now.

We talked about using your talents and our responsibility to improve the lot of others. He started his career as a lone residential social worker, on a tough housing estate. Beer bottles bounced off the cage that surrounded his outpost all night. That’s where his fire still comes from. It drives him to want to improve the scaffolding and superstructure of the nation’s health and social care system.

I don’t have that. I’m more a family chapel with a good sized intellectual cellar. My projects are more local and small scale – my family, the people around me. But never say never. The world is an unpredictable place. Gaudi started with lampposts and squat schoolhouses, so I suppose you never really know what you might build one brick at a time.