Achilles & Aristotle

You’ve not got mail

It started at work
then I brought it home,
but the paradox of ‘unsubscribing’
is I feel more alone.

Beleaguered at work, by the 30 to 50 emails which would land in Big Bold letters in my inbox, as soon as I left my screen; It felt like I was constantly running to stand still.

And then this summer I noticed how many of them were unsolicited invites: to stuff I didn’t want to attend, or things I wasn’t interested in. The time taken to open and delete them, meant I wasn’t seeing the wood for trees.

So routinely and systematically,, I began ‘unsubscribing’ from everything I didn’t actively want to know about or be part of.

Sometimes it’s easy – you have been unsubscribed thankyou. Sometimes it’s hard – please login and update your mailing preferences. Occasionally it’s impossible and the link doesn’t work (damn, spam).

But the amazing thing is I now sometimes enjoy entire periods of 5 to 10 mins with no email at all! No distraction, no anxiety… But also less adrenalin.

At home, having done the same, I can go the best part of a day with no email. Great!

Err not entirely. Unless I remind myself otherwise, I feel bereft – a little sad and alone in the world. The good news is, I can now occasionally discipline myself to put my phone down – for entire minutes on end!

Ok I feel a bit less ‘interesting’ without bursting inboxes and the constant drip drip drip of new mail. But with less constant distraction. I now raise my eyes from my screens more; to blink and focus on real people again.

Activities, have become possible – like strumming my dusty ukulele, listening to long forgotten music or practicing a bit of Français or Italiano. A reminder of life before Blackberries and iPhones.

Ho hum. I miss the buzz though… But hey – there’s always social media!

Life, Psychology, Work

#HappyWithMyLot

On my birthday, last weekend, I replied to someone’s best wishes with the hashtag #HappyWithMyLot. And indeed I am.

Not in a smug, self-satisfied way. More in a content, honest about myself and accepting kind of way.

So many people I see, default to worry or anxiety. They want more, they want different or they want better. They want life’s many problems fixed today and solved tomorrow. But there’s a fair bit to be said for accepting where and who you are; and living with, whilst gently improving things.

Worry, frustration, fear – and getting wound-up or trying to fix everything and everyone’s problems is the alternative. A set of things I am, steadily, trying to leave behind.

It seems to me, with the passage of years, that most things in life are improvable. But not many are fixable; especially things which involve people. As the Dalai Lama usefully points out, some things were wrong before us and will still be wrong when we are gone.

And the big discovery for me, is I can often improve things faster and better, if I worry myself and others about them less. A positive élan moves things forward – the worst-case diagnosis scares everyone to death.

It’s all relative. I’m not kidding myself entirely. I still get irritated, frustrated, shirty and cross. But less often and less profoundly these days. Perhaps, because I’m increasingly at peace with myself and #HappyWithMyLot.

Art, Life

Hypocrite?

Having panned Boucher’s “Fountain of Love” (below) as rubbish the other week, he has had his revenge. Thanks to DailyArt App, his “Birth and Triumph of Venus” (above) has been preying on my mind…

I have to admit; I like it. Am I a hypocrite? Same style, similar figures, same tilted heads and longing expressions – but for me it’s a winner. Perhaps it’s the light and the lightness, or because it’s all cherubs and gods. But it just goes to show, I shouldn’t write off an artist on one duff effort.

My problem is I can’t really explain why I like the one above – and not the one below. Back to those Art books…

Achilles, Life, Psychology, Work

Successories

When wooing my beloved over a decade ago, we were brought ever closer by the Panglossian ridiculousness of ‘Successories’. We used to regularly send each other a Successories enhanced message, to bring light relief to the odd grey working day.

A particular favourite was the ‘Thinking out of the Box’ award (above) which, perhaps, only its creator truly deserves.

Different cultures like different things, but the over-the-top positivity of the assembled animal posters and dramatic landscapes, strikes a bum note in the average British office. Dare to Soar (below) is a meeting room classic which rarely raises anything other than a snigger. It’s just not the British way.

But once in a while, a motivational quote does hit the spot. Spotted on Instagram, despite myself, Basketball legend Michael Jordan’s simple maths have helped me this week.

No-one likes to visibly fail – but if Michael Jordan could do it 9,000 times, perhaps I can forgive myself the odd ‘attempt’ which doesn’t land first time.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again” is a good motto, but one I’ve never really liked that much in practice. Sometimes though, on some things, you just have to keep shooting the hoops.

Achilles, Life, Odysseus, Philosophy, Psychology, Work

Roman Walls

Stop growing and you’re already shrinking. Resolve to hang on to what you’ve got and you’ll probably lose it. Stick to what you’ve always known and you are getting stuck. The best bet in life is to give up self-defence – and march ever onwards.

This came to me, when I was talking to a nice person at work, about her natural desire to protect what she has. When we feel vulnerable or change is in the air, we all get defensive. I admitted I had felt very much the same, until quite recently. Then something I read about the Romans came to my assistance.

Historians sometimes mark the height of the Roman Empire as Marcus Aurelius’ defeat of the Germanians. But you can trace the start of its decline two emperors earlier, to Hadrian’s decision to stop advancing and instead build walls. The construction of walls marked the edge of civilisation and was designed to keep out barbarians. For which, Hadrian famously put one up across the North of Britain.

But in that moment the Romans subtly and implicitly signalled their limits – and invited attack, decline and fall. No longer advancing, assimilating and civilising; they’d said: “That’s it, we’re digging in, hanging on and giving up.”

My conversation partner and I reflected on the fact that perhaps life, and indeed working life, are much the same. Keep moving forward, keep an open mind, keep learning and doing new things; and momentum, new challenges and opportunities come along.

Hunker down, dig in and hang on – even behind the most impressive fortifications, and you’re already sinking into decline and fall. And this couldn’t have been more amply demonstrated, than in a valedictory interview I watched, between two ageing newsmen a few day later: one, retiring, cynical, dogmatic and closed minded; the other delightfully open, interested and enthusiastic about life, other people and the world.

There are always more intellectual aqueducts to construct, chasms of ignorance to span with new bridges and viaducts, roads to pave to fresh knowledge and ideas. Whatever the temptation to stop, rest or settle, the best answer is always to keep moving on, growing and learning.