Psychology – Page 16 – Achilles & Aristotle

Climate Change

As I said to several people, this week, at work: nine tenths of navigating organisational life (it seems to me) is about discerning the difference between weather and climate.

On any given day they look the same. But when it’s been raining on your parade for months, it may be time to accept that the climate has turned for the worse. Still, there’s never any shortage of aggro in any workplace, so just as important is to spot the coming of better days.

My mother-in-law favours the nautical saying: if you can see a patch of blue as big as a ‘fisherman’s trousers’, even in a gunmetal sky, then the weather is set to turn. And despite some very heavy and sustained rain this week – I have spied the proverbial fisherman’s trousers.

I fancy the worst is over, and the climate is about to change. A few more heavy showers, and some wintry months remain. But, a quiet smile, a more cheerful élan and a spring in the step are called for – even if Spring itself is some months off. I forecast good days ahead.

Life, Psychology

Closed for Lunch

Coming back from a family trip
to France last weekend – with the beginnings of a Michelin tyre round my waist – I decided something must be done.

For some time the missus has been advocating the 5:2 diet. Eat normally for five days and eat nothing at all for two. I didn’t fancy it at all. Not least since I go all wobbly on my bike home from work, if I’ve not got enough sugar in my system.

Enter of all things the Qur’an. I’d decided to take a break from wading through the King James Bible (Jees it goes on) to try another holy book, to see what all the fuss is about.

And the answer to my expanding waistline came in the first sura – Ramadan. Albeit I’m not sure about no liquids (watch those kidneys), if billions of people going back over 1,500 years have managed a whole months of eating nothing all day, surely I can.

And so I can – it’s pretty easy really. A bowl of porridge to start the day and then leave food on the shelf until evening comes. Not every day of course. It’s nice to meet and spend time with people of quality over a spot of lunch. But bang in one workday and a bit of weekend discipline and hey presto.

Plus the great thing about doing it during the day, is no-one really notices. So it doesn’t become a big drama. I cooked a Sunday roast and all the trimmings last Sunday – salivating gently – and then at 6pm it was time for us all to eat. Mmmmm, it tasted all the better for a little restraint.

The spare tyre is deflating steadily. And food is something, I really fancy after a day of waiting; instead of feeling obliged to mow through, just because it’s feeding time at the zoo.

All of a sudden, Christmas feels less of a looming food mountain. At least I’ll be able to quietly shelter in the lee of all those unnecessary calories during the day.

Fasting – sounds old fashioned, but has lot to commend it in the modern world. It’s good to hear your tummy rumble once in a while.

Life, Psychology, Work

#HappyWithMyLot

On my birthday, last weekend, I replied to someone’s best wishes with the hashtag #HappyWithMyLot. And indeed I am.

Not in a smug, self-satisfied way. More in a content, honest about myself and accepting kind of way.

So many people I see, default to worry or anxiety. They want more, they want different or they want better. They want life’s many problems fixed today and solved tomorrow. But there’s a fair bit to be said for accepting where and who you are; and living with, whilst gently improving things.

Worry, frustration, fear – and getting wound-up or trying to fix everything and everyone’s problems is the alternative. A set of things I am, steadily, trying to leave behind.

It seems to me, with the passage of years, that most things in life are improvable. But not many are fixable; especially things which involve people. As the Dalai Lama usefully points out, some things were wrong before us and will still be wrong when we are gone.

And the big discovery for me, is I can often improve things faster and better, if I worry myself and others about them less. A positive élan moves things forward – the worst-case diagnosis scares everyone to death.

It’s all relative. I’m not kidding myself entirely. I still get irritated, frustrated, shirty and cross. But less often and less profoundly these days. Perhaps, because I’m increasingly at peace with myself and #HappyWithMyLot.

Achilles, Life, Psychology, Work

Successories

When wooing my beloved over a decade ago, we were brought ever closer by the Panglossian ridiculousness of ‘Successories’. We used to regularly send each other a Successories enhanced message, to bring light relief to the odd grey working day.

A particular favourite was the ‘Thinking out of the Box’ award (above) which, perhaps, only its creator truly deserves.

Different cultures like different things, but the over-the-top positivity of the assembled animal posters and dramatic landscapes, strikes a bum note in the average British office. Dare to Soar (below) is a meeting room classic which rarely raises anything other than a snigger. It’s just not the British way.

But once in a while, a motivational quote does hit the spot. Spotted on Instagram, despite myself, Basketball legend Michael Jordan’s simple maths have helped me this week.

No-one likes to visibly fail – but if Michael Jordan could do it 9,000 times, perhaps I can forgive myself the odd ‘attempt’ which doesn’t land first time.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again” is a good motto, but one I’ve never really liked that much in practice. Sometimes though, on some things, you just have to keep shooting the hoops.

Achilles, Life, Odysseus, Philosophy, Psychology, Work

Roman Walls

Stop growing and you’re already shrinking. Resolve to hang on to what you’ve got and you’ll probably lose it. Stick to what you’ve always known and you are getting stuck. The best bet in life is to give up self-defence – and march ever onwards.

This came to me, when I was talking to a nice person at work, about her natural desire to protect what she has. When we feel vulnerable or change is in the air, we all get defensive. I admitted I had felt very much the same, until quite recently. Then something I read about the Romans came to my assistance.

Historians sometimes mark the height of the Roman Empire as Marcus Aurelius’ defeat of the Germanians. But you can trace the start of its decline two emperors earlier, to Hadrian’s decision to stop advancing and instead build walls. The construction of walls marked the edge of civilisation and was designed to keep out barbarians. For which, Hadrian famously put one up across the North of Britain.

But in that moment the Romans subtly and implicitly signalled their limits – and invited attack, decline and fall. No longer advancing, assimilating and civilising; they’d said: “That’s it, we’re digging in, hanging on and giving up.”

My conversation partner and I reflected on the fact that perhaps life, and indeed working life, are much the same. Keep moving forward, keep an open mind, keep learning and doing new things; and momentum, new challenges and opportunities come along.

Hunker down, dig in and hang on – even behind the most impressive fortifications, and you’re already sinking into decline and fall. And this couldn’t have been more amply demonstrated, than in a valedictory interview I watched, between two ageing newsmen a few day later: one, retiring, cynical, dogmatic and closed minded; the other delightfully open, interested and enthusiastic about life, other people and the world.

There are always more intellectual aqueducts to construct, chasms of ignorance to span with new bridges and viaducts, roads to pave to fresh knowledge and ideas. Whatever the temptation to stop, rest or settle, the best answer is always to keep moving on, growing and learning.